Hi sweet babes, happy 2016.
I’ve been beating myself up for the past week and a half because I didn’t write a post on January 6th, which, of course, was the first Wednesday of the year. Which means I literally began the brand new year not following through on my major promise to myself to take my personal writing more seriously. It should not be hard to write one blog post every week. And yet!
But I’ve decided today, on the second Wednesday of the year, it’s time to forgive myself. And honestly, isn’t it always time to forgive ourselves? I didn’t write the post. It was my first day back at work. I was trying to clean my room and tend to some car issues and have difficult conversations with people I love. I was planning trips and taking trips and trying to be outside every single day even if it rains. I was researching sugar-free diets to try to heal my gut and I was bemoaning the lack of internet resources for sugar-free diets that don’t simply read like a guide to gaining an eating disorder. I was doing so many things.
Last night I had dinner with a close friend and when I explained all of the above they said simply, “It’s so hard to care for your mind and your body and your spirit all the time,” and I think a few years ago I would’ve rolled my eyes at that sentiment but you know what, it is. We need so many things, us humans, we want so much, and sometimes it is too much. Sometimes Mercury goes into retrograde to force our communication to stall, sometimes Solstice halts our production and brings the darkest day of the year so we can have the longest wildest dreams, sometimes we fuck up and sometimes we must pause.
So this is forgiveness, this is letting go. And how perfect, because that’s what I’m calling in this year. 2014 was saying yes, 2015 was showing up. In 2016 I will forgive and I will let go.
I will also go on a lot of hikes, continue to floss daily, run a 5k, and try to be consistent about updating this damn blog every week! Thanks for being patient with me while I learn to be patient with myself.