I woke up as soon as my alarm went off at 7am – anyone who has ever slept next to me would’ve been shocked and impressed with how quickly I shut that shit off and popped out of bed. I’m a notorious snoozer, for those who haven’t shared a bed with me, but you can’t do that when you’re staying in a 6 person room in a hostel – it’s way too rude. So I was up and out of bed super early, ready to begin my exciting dairy-filled day.

After a free hostel breakfast (that was noticeably better than the free hostel breakfast I had in Geneva) I set off to catch three separate trains: one to the main Montreux station, one to Montbovon, and a final one to Gruyeres. I was worried about all sorts of things – what if I couldn’t find the station near my hostel, what if my Swiss Travel Pass didn’t actually cover the journey, what if I’d misread the train schedules, what if I missed my connecting train…etc. Alley’s aunt Norma told her I’m the only person who worries more than she does, and she may have a point (hi, Norma!). I wish my brain didn’t behave that way…I want to work on changing it.

Anyway, all my worry was for naught (as it usually is) because the Swiss have got train travel down to a science and they make it so easy for the passengers. There are clear schedules on screens in every station, extremely obvious numbers on the platforms, and if your train is running late – THEY HOLD THE CONNECTING TRAIN A FEW MINUTES SO THAT YOU DON’T MISS IT. I’ve literally never experienced such smooth train travel in my life. Bless the Swiss, amen. And as an added bonus, they’ve got these cool old school trains that run on something called the Golden Pass line, and my longest train today was one of those! I don’t quite understand how you know when these trains are running, but I just felt lucky to get to ride in one.

The seats on the antique train are set up in groups of four, and two older Swiss women sat with me. I would guess they were in their sixties, and I wanted so badly to be their friend – I got the vibe that they might be a lesbian couple, and they were so awesome. Both were wearing plaid and the one had the best messy butch haircut and the sexiest salt and pepper hair and ugh, why don’t I speak fluent French?! We all smiled at each other but that was all – they spent most of the time leaning very close to each other to chatter excitedly about the landscape rolling by. If anything gets me to learn French properly y’all, it’ll be old Swiss (probably) dykes on trains who feel as excited about cows and mountains as I do – mark my words.

My Swiss Pass did cover the entire train ride, as the rational part of my brain knew it would, and the entire journey took about an hour and forty five minutes. I didn’t mind though, because in a country as beautiful as Switzerland train travel is just another activity on a tourist’s itinerary. The time spent staring out the window as Lake Geneva got smaller and smaller until she eventually disappeared and was replaced by mountains, hills, tiny farmhouses, and vineyards was just as interesting as the cheese factory would be.

The factory, or La Maison du Gruyere, is right next to the train stop. It’s pretty small and less industrial than I expected. With admission fee you receive a sample of three cheeses – aged 6 months, 8 months, and 10 months – and an audio device for the self-guided tours. I usually hate museum tours, but this one was geared toward kids, super cheesey, and incredibly engaging! I loved it. The narrative was told from the perspective of a dairy cow (!) named Cherry, and she had me rapt as she explained how she works her “magic” to create cheese. During the tour you get a chance to watch the actual cheese factory and the workers as they create actual real Gruyere cheese! I learned that the factory makes 48 wheels of cheese a day!

After I got my fill of cheese I walked up (and up and up and up – the whole 20 minute walk was on a fairly steep incline) to the medieval town of Gruyeres, where there is another castle! Two castles in two days!! I never thought I’d be in a position to rank castles, but I will say that I much preferred the castle today, in Gruyere, than I did the castle yesterday, in Montreux. This one was smaller but the rooms themselves were filled with much more elaborate things, there was a beautifully landscaped garden, and there was a mini modern art exhibit in one of the rooms. I spent a while there exploring and ate a small snack in the courtyard, feeling proud of myself for packing some of my spoils from my “grocery store” run last night instead of paying $25+ for a meal at a restaurant. Then I refilled my water bottle and carefully made my way down the steep slope to the train station, where I waited for a train to Broc, aka The Place Where There Is A Chocolate Factory!

The chocolate factory, or Maison Cailler, was extremely busy by the time I arrived, and I wondered if I should’ve planned my day differently and if it was worth it to wait an hour for a tour. What else are you doing with your day, I ruefully asked myself, and that settled that. I bought my ticket and waited for my tour to start. In that time I worked on my blog a little bit and meandered the huge gift shop. I found one hilarious postcard in particular that is allegedly “a boy feeding a girl chocolate” but is clearly two dykes having a nice time. I bought two copies of that postcard – one is going on my wall when I finally move back into my bedroom.

I was extremely impressed with the tour itself and very glad I decided to wait to go on it. It was interactive, detailed, and theatrical – maybe my favorite museums are the ones that are geared toward kids? I dunno but the ones I experienced today were awesome. After the tour we were able to become “professional taste testers,” aka try as much chocolate as we could stomach – needless to say, I made myself slightly ill.

The journey home was long but enjoyable. I spent some time making plans for the next day; I would wake up very early again, I decided, so I could take the train up to Les Rochers-de-Naye before departing this area to head north, to Lauterbrunnen. From what I’ve read and heard, Les Rochers-de-Naye is supposed to be an alpine wonderland, with hiking trails, wild flowers, and a marmot museum!

I fell asleep hoping I would see so many marmots the next day.

The train was blessedly easy. I gather that buying a ticket works on the honor system – you don’t have to show it to anyone to board the train, and I thought the conductor would eventually come around to check, but he did not. Maybe on longer trains eventually they would? I don’t know. I kind of love not knowing things – it’s one of the only ways I know to soothe my anxiety. That sounds counter-intuitive but at home, where things feel “knowable,” I stress myself out trying to find the answers, even if they’re not really necessary. Being “somewhere else” allows me to turn that part of my brain off, just exist, just accept that I don’t know. It’s nice.

Forty five minutes and a million picturesque mountain and lake views later, I was in Montreux. I walked from the train station to my hostel along the lake and was blown away by the beauty. The vibe is such of a seaside town, even though of course we’re on the lake, not the ocean.

I dropped my bag in a locker at the hostel – this one only had reception and check in starting at 5pm, which is vaguely irritating but not uncommon – and headed directly to the castle! (Pro tip: If you’re planning to use a locker in a hostel or at a train station in Switzerland, make sure you have anywhere from 2-9 CHF in coins on you! Otherwise you will find yourself putting your pack back on and walking an extra 10 minutes to a little convenient store to break your 50 CHF bill by buying a Coke Light. Maybe that’s obvious to everyone else, but uh…well, that Coke Light was refreshing after that extra walking!)

The castle is a big part of the reason I chose to visit Montreaux. I wanted to visit a “typical” lakeside Swiss town, something less urban than Geneva, but couldn’t decide which one would be best. Then I stumbled upon my friend Allison’s amazing travel blog, Eternal Arrival (thanks, Facebook algorithms, for being useful for one thing in your life), and she had just written a post about off the beaten path scenic spots in Switzerland! Montreux and the castle were on her list, and just like that, my choice was made. I love when life works like that. (By digital forces of questionable morality influencing our every decision? Ugh, but yeah, I guess.)

I was disappointed about the harsh 5pm sunlight – it didn’t lend itself so well to photos. But I got over myself and had an excellent two hours at the castle. I know that castles and the ideas behind them – classism, wealth inequality, etc – are actually not good, obviously, but I couldn’t help being impressed with the architecture and the historical value of the building.

When I was done at the castle I walked back to the hostel and checked in. I got a bottom bunk this time, which I was super thankful for, especially as I’ll be in Montreux for two nights. I used the free wifi at the hostel and texted with some friends from home and learned that Frida has always wanted to visit Montreux and especially wanted to see the Freddie Mercury statue here! The woman at the front desk of the hostel – Christine, who I adored – had just pointed out the statue on my map, so I promised Frids I would go find it. I also really wanted to get to a grocery store so I could buy some not-outrageously-priced snacks and avoid eating at super-overpriced restaurants and cafes, but unfortunately 95% of the grocery shops in town had closed by 7pm and most would not be open the next day as it was Sunday and I guess these folks are good god-fearing people. I searched online and found one grocery store that was going to be open until 10pm, right near the Freddie Mercury statue. Perfect.

I decided to walk again, as opposed to taking the bus, because it really is so luxurious to have the time to go everywhere on my feet instead of worrying about schedules and appointments and deadlines. My only goal was to get to the store before it closed, and I had plenty of time.

Walking by the lake at sunset again gave me the vibe of the ocean. I saw a lot of families, a lot of beautiful art, and finally, Freddie Mercury! I excitedly texted Frida to let her know. I got a text back soon after: “I’m weeping.” Success!

After hanging out with Freddie I made it to the grocery store which…well, it is generous of Google Maps to call it a grocery store. Gas station shop might be more accurate? Place to buy some provisions if you are in desperate need at 9pm on a Saturday night? I fell into that category, though, so I made do. I felt a bit like I was doing a resupply shop for the PCT – everything I bought was shelf stable and vaguely unappetizing but would do in a pinch: dried apples, raisins, salami, chocolate. Well, the chocolate wasn’t unappetizing – it was delicious.

I did take the bus back to the hostel, seeing as it was dark and I had big plans for the next day. I had agonized over how to best logistically plan my short time in Montreux, but ultimately decided that I would take a day trip to Gruyeres. It was far for just a day – a few hours on several trains, roundtrip – but Gruyeres is home to both a cheese factory and a chocolate factory, plus a castle, which is basically my dream scenario, so I decided it would be worth it.

And with that, armed with many screenshots of the train schedule, my inexpensive food options, and a weird numbness in my big toe (I don’t know when it started or why, but it was noticeable and bizarre), I happily fell asleep.